Whenever we feel tempted to judge someone, get angry with them, or see them as having done something wrong, here is a very helpful question we can ask ourselves: “Would I accuse myself of doing this?”
A Course in Miracles notes that this question represents “a very simple way to find the door to true forgiveness, and perceive it open wide in welcome.”
True forgiveness is not about letting others off the hook or repressing our “righteous wrath” – rather it is recognition that nothing happened. The meaning we give every situation is completely up to us. If we see ourselves as having been unfairly treated, then we are joined with the ego mind in false perception, or what the Course refers to as “forgiveness to destroy”. That’s the form of forgiveness that says, “You did this to me, and you should feel awful and guilty for that!”
Asking “Would I condemn myself for doing this?” helps shift into the right mind, which is the mind of love or oneness or presence. From here, “no one is crucified” and all we experience is lovely peace.